PICKING THE FRUIT

Yesterday, I had some rather unsettling experiences.  Yes, it happens to all of us now and again, even to those of  'mature' years.  Sometimes, in those happenstances, just for a moment (or two) mind you, I want to have what is known around these parts as a good old "hissyfit".  I know, I know..those are best relegated to the second year of life and occasionally to pms-days (thankfully long gone for me!!).  Honestly I work hard at being a low(ish) maintenance woman, I do.  But there are those instances, when you just feel the need to express it, hissyfit style. 


Now I won't go into the details of the reasons for my near-hissyfit, because we all could justify our own personal list that would make the PERFECT criteria for a brewing F-5...the proverbial 'perfect storm' scenario.  Suffice it to say, a trigger for me is slanderous craziness that is directed at one who is down, and will not for whatever reason, defend him/herself.

Having taught our children (with marginal success, because after all, children must adopt these truths as their own) the example of David and Saul recounted in the Bible, as the correct way to deal with persecution, I realize perfectly well that this is the model that I should aspire to.  In this biblical example, the Teacher makes the point that even though David, on many occasions, could have killed the crazed and (by that time) demonized Saul, God said not to touch him.  OK, and then goes on to say basically, "go ahead and defend yourself if you want to, but better yet, let ME (God) defend you".  I mean, He was saying this:  Ya can't have it both ways!  Dang, easy to say (and teach), lots and lots harder to live, yes?
 
Well, there you go, that is the sort of place I found myself, having to prove what I have taught, and truly believe.  (Isn't that always the way of it when there is a teaching anointing lurking around you??) 

Now in times past, I have successfully passed the class..but this time, it just got all over me.  Hubby says I have always had a "very well developed sense of fairness" (I mean, isn't that such a gentlemanly way of saying that--ya gotta love him!).  Guess that's why my natural bent has always been (at least in my pre-retirement nursing days) to be a 'patient advocate'. 

OK, back to yesterday, well, the claws started to come out, and I wanted JUSTICE, yes, spelled in all caps!  It's not that hard to try and take the high road in a mean-dirty fight, but at some point, your resolve will be tested.  It wasn't the first instance, or even the 100th one in this seemingly neverending litany of destructive events, but it was the one that put me over the top.  As they say, we do all have our limits, and this was trampling on my very. last. nerve. 

Interesting (as I look back on it) that up until that last nerve was pinched, I had neglected to click the HELP button.  My mind was fully engaged, but my Spirit was not.  At least in the pre-hissyfit time frame.

Well, all's well that ends well?  Maybe.  But after removing myself from the situation, my emotions boiled over with deep grief, tears and frustration, too much even for words.  Normally a pretty expressive type, words just failed me.  So, now to the real point of this pondering post this morning...

When I did push the Help button, the Holy Spirit did not disappoint.  He started by calmly giving me a list of the 9 fruit of the Spirit.  OK, I know that.  But then, He let me know that I needed to appropriate them, since they were already resident within my Spirit.  Well, duh.  So, I started desperately appropriating.  Desperately.  I mean, desperately. 

Gradually, my hand stopped pointing out to God the situation I had just left (can't you SEE this, won't you DO SOMETHING etc etc), and I realized the extreme appropriation deficit that I was in.  It's astounding, just truly astounding, what God will do when you repent of your right to a hissyfit, and truly desperately ask for what is readily available to you in Christ. 

In myself, those 9 fruit are fleeting within, but at that moment, I realized the need to have all 9, right NOW.  All of them, every last one.  Did I say...NOW?

Has the situation changed?  Not that I can see.  But if we are to truly embrace what the Word says about how what we cannot see is more real than what we CAN see, then I know that at least I am in correct battle-axe position: and that is equipped with the fruit of the Spirit.  I CAN expect God to defend my loved one.  And..I do.

God is good, all the time.  His ways are SO not my ways.  What would I do without Him?  Always the lifelong student..even as a teacher. 

#noprovisionforhissyfitstoday